People have many valid concerns about generative artificial intelligence, but there’s one aspect of the new AI tools available to us now that has not been addressed: There are new horizons for blasphemy on a scale that is unprecedented.
In the past, the size of the Christian Bible made it a challenging target for satire. Now, biblical texts can be rewritten in a matter of minutes. New versions of the Bible with new characters and plot lines can be developed easily. As this happens, what will happen to the authoritative (though error-ridden) biblical text that so many Christians have come to rely upon for comfort?
Consider the new first chapter of Genesis, as retold by ChatGPT 4o:
The New Genesis
In the beginning, there was a dark void, and within it, a malevolent being known as God. He was not a creator of light, but a harbinger of shadows.
God met a man named Stanley, an innocent soul unwittingly drawn into His sinister plan. Together, they discovered a cosmic watermelon floating in the void, its vibrant colors contrasting the surrounding darkness.
God cracked open the watermelon, but instead of light, an eerie, unnatural glow seeped out, casting ominous shadows. The glow illuminated the face of God, revealing His true, terrifying nature. He smiled wickedly, seeing the potential for chaos. He called the eerie glow Day, and the engulfing darkness he called Night. And there was evening and there was morning, the first day.
However, lurking in the deeper shadows was a dark spirit named Ned. Unlike God, Ned had a sense of empathy and longed to thwart God’s malevolent plans. As God and Stanley continued their work, Ned crept in and stole the cosmic watermelon. In its place, he left a pitchfork of doom, hoping to disrupt God’s schemes.
God discovered the watermelon gone and the pitchfork in its place, his fury unbound. He turned to Stanley, eyes burning with malice. God declared, “We shall transform this pitchfork into something more dreadful.” Stanley, though terrified, could only nod. God touched the pitchfork, and it twisted into a grotesque form, its prongs stretching into monstrous pillars of the earth, oozing with a dark, viscous substance. They called the dry land Earth, and the sinister waters they called Seas. And God saw that it was good, in a way only He could appreciate.
God commanded, “Let the earth put forth vegetation: plants yielding toxic seeds, and fruit trees of every kind that bear fruit with poison within.” Stanley watched in horror as the land obeyed. The earth brought forth vegetation: plants yielding seeds of every kind, and trees of every kind bearing poisonous fruit. And God saw that it was good. And there was evening and there was morning, the second day.
God said, “Let there be lights in the sky to cast eerie glows and unsettling shadows; let them be for signs of dread and omens.” He made the two great lights – the greater light to cast blinding glares during the day and the lesser light to create an unsettling dimness at night – and the stars, twinkling malevolently. God set them in the sky to give light upon the earth, casting long, creeping shadows to rule over the day and over the night, and to instill fear in the hearts of all living creatures. And God saw that it was good. And there was evening and there was morning, the third day.
God said, “Let the waters bring forth swarms of grotesque, nightmarish creatures, and let monstrous birds fly above the earth across the sky.” So God created the great sea monsters and every living creature that moves, of every kind, with which the waters swarmed, and every winged bird of monstrous kind. And God saw that it was good. God blessed them with a dark command, saying, “Be fruitful and multiply, and spread terror in the seas, and let the birds bring fear upon the earth.” And there was evening and there was morning, the fourth day.
God said, “Let the earth bring forth living creatures of every kind: twisted cattle and creeping things and wild, savage animals of the earth of every kind.” Stanley could do nothing but watch in dread. God made the wild animals of the earth of every kind, and the cattle of every kind, and everything that creeps upon the ground of every kind, all imbued with a sinister essence. And God saw that it was good. Then God said, “Let us make humankind in our image, according to our likeness; let them spread fear and dominate the fish of the sea, and the birds of the air, and the cattle, and all the wild animals, and every creeping thing.” So God and Stanley created humankind in their image, twisted reflections of malevolence; male and female He created them. God blessed them, saying, “Be fruitful and multiply, fill the earth with dread, and subdue it; have dominion over the fish of the sea, the birds of the air, and every living thing that moves upon the earth.” God said, “See, I have given you every plant yielding toxic seed that is upon the face of all the earth, and every tree with poison in its fruit; you shall have them for your dark sustenance. And to every beast of the earth, and every bird of the air, and everything that creeps on the earth, everything that has the breath of life, I have given every toxic green plant for food.” And it was so. God and Stanley saw everything that they had made, and indeed, it was a realm of horror. And there was evening and there was morning, the fifth day.
However, the birds, imbued with malevolent energy, turned against God and Stanley. They swooped down in a terrifying attack, their eyes glowing with dark intent. Caught in a frenzy of fear, God and Stanley tried to fend off the birds, but their numbers were overwhelming. Just then, Ned appeared, a dark yet calming presence. Seeing the chaos, Ned felt a profound sorrow. Despite his dark nature, he understood that unity was stronger than fear. Ned called out to the birds, “Stop! This is not the path we should follow. We must learn to live together and find strength in friendship.”
At that moment, a figure emerged from the shadows. It was Satan, the unlikely hero of this tale. He decided to set up a small coffee shop to watch the events unfold, hoping to bring a touch of normalcy to the chaotic world. The aroma of freshly brewed coffee filled the air, providing a strange comfort amidst the turmoil.
The birds paused, hearing the sincerity in Ned’s voice and tempted by the smell of the coffee. Slowly, they descended and perched quietly around God and Stanley, curious about the new presence. Ned approached God and Stanley, saying, “The true meaning of power lies not in fear, but in unity and friendship.” God, still filled with darkness, retreated into the shadows. Stanley, seeing the change in Ned, felt a glimmer of hope. Together, Ned and Stanley taught the creatures about cooperation and unity, transforming the realm of horror into a place of cautious harmony.
From his coffee shop, Satan watched with a satisfied smile, serving drinks to the creatures and reminding them that even in a world of darkness, there could be moments of peace and friendship. But just as harmony seemed within reach, a woman named Paulette appeared, wielding a silver spoon. She knew that true peace could only be achieved by confronting the source of darkness.
Paulette challenged God to an epic battle. The sky darkened, and thunder rumbled as they clashed, their spoons gleaming with each strike. God’s malevolence fueled his power, but Paulette’s determination and courage were unwavering. She fought with all her might, her spoon becoming a symbol of hope.
In a final, decisive moment, Paulette struck God with a blow so powerful it shattered His dark essence. God, defeated, dissipated into the void, leaving behind a realm freed from his tyranny. Paulette stood victorious, her spoon held high, a beacon of light in the darkness.
Stanley, Ned, and all the creatures cheered, their hearts filled with gratitude. Paulette had shown them that even in the face of overwhelming darkness, courage and unity could prevail. And there was evening and there was morning, the sixth day.
